Living on coffee and hope

I'm downing an extra large coffee at 2:07pm because I've been up since 11:30 last night. I know parenting is a challenge. Totally. But I'm convinced my kids, who are finally and strangely getting along, are plotting against me. I've been a light sleeper forever. I guess it's just in my nature. Since having kids, I've been even more alert while I sleep. Both boys were wide eyed and bushy tailed at 5:32 this morning. We even took Luke to the store to pick out a clock for his room, and unless he had to pee, he was told not to emerge until it read six-oh-oh. I mean, really, is 6am so much to ask? But these hellions of mine decide to play with the noisiest toys and make the loudest fire truck noises before 5:30am that I think someone might call DSS on me. Because what am I doing wrong? Just be quiet and sleep.

I had a whole list of things I wanted to get out when I thought of writing earlier and now they've just vacated my head because lack of sleep. My brain function tends to diminish after being awake for more than 24 hours (aside from a cat nap). Obviously not much sleeping going on when I'm up with a 22month old (ok, he's almost 2- I'll stop with the months when he hits 2 because that's SO annoying) who decides to kick me off the couch so I make a bed on the floor and he started snoring as loud as my husband so no sleep was to be had THEN(!!!!!) he falls off the couch right on to me..... So I move back to the couch and make sure he's nice and cozy on my bed on the floor and then not even 5 mins later stands up and decides to lay on the couch with me again. At this point I'm hugely debating getting rid of our couch and trading it in for an air mattress... But who wants to sit on an air mattress? No one, that's who.

And really kid, you've basically been wrapped around me all night, could you please just let me take a shower? No, you're going to cry and kick and scream at 6am? Thanks. I need a break and I'm crabby and whiny and this isn't the way I was hoping to start off my Wednesday.

Here I am half way through Wednesday and I'm already looking forward to bed time. Hence the coffee. I love them, I really do.

And if I read over this later, it's probably so disjointed and doesn't make any sense, so I'm just going to hit publish and leave it at that. Because I'm tired. And no one is reading this yet anyway.

Let's hope these kids are behaved and go to bed at a reasonable time tonight.

XO

Be Kind

sometimes it's the little things you do for people that mean the most. Remember when that news story came out about people "paying it forward" at Starbucks and everyone paid for the person behind them? Because someone decided to start the chain? Doing nice things for people doesn't have to be for holidays or special occasions. It can be for no reason at all. Yesterday I was heading to lunch and a co-worker mentioned he wanted pecan pie with vanilla ice cream. This guy is constantly craving odd things, generally burritos or something Mexican, but today it was pie. As I was out running errands, I decided I'd look for a piece of pecan pie somewhere. I found a tiny individual box of pie and I even bought him a tiny container of ice cream. Back at work, he was SO busy that I think
He was in shock when I delivered it over to his desk he forgot how stressed he was and just say back and enjoyed the treat. All of this because I spent $2.24 on pie and ice cream for someone, out of the blue, on a day he really needed a pick-me-up.

I've always said that when bad things keep happening in my life I must need to change something. I generally do something nice for someone else in hopes of changing my karma..

Let's hope it comes back around soon, as I'm laying on the living room floor at 1:41ambecause my little one kicked me off the couch after falling asleep after a nightmare... I'll be sore when I get up....

This is just a reminder- do nice things for people. Be kind. It'll make you feel better.

The Value of Time

So this is my 2nd attempt at this blog post.... my app decided not to save for me.. Awesome.

So, I am awful at putting a value on my time. I have recently listed cowls on etsy. I love making the, but they take a bit to make and they do take between 1 and 3 skeins of yarn. Aside from pricing out the value of the actual yarn, putting a value on the time that it takes to make each item is my downfall. I love to crochet, I do it every single day. Whether it's making up orders or working on something for myself or one of the kids, I pick up yarn and a hook every single day. How do I place monetary value on something I love to do. I price my items according to what I feel I would pay for something. A cowl, I'd probably pay between $20/$25 for one. I know that the yarn I use is pricy but I don't think I would spend more for a cowl, so charging more because the actual yarn is expensive is hard for me. I would love to think that my items are worth any reasonable price, but what is reasonable when you try to value time? 

Ah the dillema of a crafter.

So a friend recently asked me to make items for her daughters. She sent each of her girls coming home from the hospital outfits and asked me to make a dreamcatcher with the corrosponding clothing.  She also wanted two little animals that looked like her girls. I have a photo of one of the deamcatchers I made and I think it's mission accomplished. She told me she absolutely loves everything, so I'd assume I did my job well!

Also, another friend of mine asked me to make up a Bee stuffed animal. Well, I've been trying to teach myself how to write patterns and create things completely from scratch. This seemed like the perfect project for my new ability I was trying to learn. AND I just happened to have a nice butter color cotton yarn that I was itching to use! I created my own patterns and made up a bee stuffed animal, a honey comb blanket and a bee hat. She said it was a huge hit at the baby shower.

I just LOVE it!!

These are the things that make me happy. When my handcrafted items make people happy. 

On a side note, today was my sister's 18th birthday. Kind of a big deal. Eric has been in her life since she was 8 months old. It kind of puts things into perspective. Totally crazy. The kids were totally cute and well behaved. We played outside, Zach was super clingy but it's probably because he's growing 4 new teeth and Luke was his usual self. Life is good.

Until next time.

XO

Day 2 of December...

Early in the day:
We've already failed poor Sprinkles, the elf on the shelf. I blame myself, although I've been fighting a cold since Monday night. This morning Luke noticed that Sprinkles was still in the Christmas tree where he was yesterday. Luckily Eric did some quick early morning thinking and told Luke that Sprinkles likes it in the tree because he can see everything from up there.. Crisis averted.

2 days into December and they're already begging for Santa. I knew it was going to be like this. I expected it. The advent calendars have been broken in to already with pleading to open "just one more day."

The boys were lovely last night. I wasn't feeling myself (still) and they didn't argue or fight much. There was the occasional bossy pants older brother yelling at "clueless" little brother but aside from that, they were lovely. They played, they each had a hamper to climb in, a blanket to cover themselves. Ah to be young and carefree!

I've been making up a storm! Made gifts for Luke's teachers, finished up some shopping, made some etsy orders... I've been on a roll! I've made up a few pairs of mittens and I'm totally loving them!! Once I get this whole blogger situation handled I'll definitely post some photos!!! Check etsy for some new listings soon as well!!

Edit:
Can I just say how AMAZING my boys were tonight? Like honestly. UH-maze-ING!!  They had pancakes and cereal for dinner and then went off to play, (with each other!!!!) while Eric and I finished dinner. I did dishes and joined the boys in the living room for some mood lighting by the Christmas tree play time, then we watched a show or two, Zach said he was getting tired, Luke told him it was bath time, they went, took a bath, read a book and went to bed!!! Can all nights go as well as this? I'll pay good money. Oh and before all this, the boys both helped make sprinkle cupcakes. Both of them. On the same chair. Took turns. What!? Can we say HOORAY!!!!!!!

I feel like McDonalds, I'm loving it!

Now it's 10:56pm, I'm watching SNL holiday sketches (just switched to the news and the massacre in CA- which is a story for another day. This world is so messed up, seriously. It's such a decision before you have kids as to whether or not you want to bring kids into this world. It's such a gift, but these awful attacks and massacres and shootings are happening so frequently it's terrifying) and have finished all etsy orders, one gift for my sister and two pairs of mittens for teachers... I also finished up a few more gifts but I don't want to wreck the surprise!!

Oh, and I just got out of bed to move sprinkles.......

Good night world.

Can I get a do-over, over here please?

I totally want a do-over of today. Let's just start from the top. The kids were a nightmare today. total.chaos. Husband was in a mood, and I get it, we all have our days.. But honestly, sometimes I have enough on my plate trying to manage my own mood that two little opposite astrological signs and an overly emotional sign just don't mix on certain days. And then there's me. All I want to do it get some stuff done. Laundry, cleaning a little, keeping the living room hazard free, maybe make a pair of mittens or finish a Christmas Gift...... please? No, nope, not today for this mama. I had a crying almost 2 year old having constant meltdowns today, his brother punched him right in the face and then the little one took a back fall off the couch, landing right on his lumpy little nugget.

And of course these kids don't nap. EVER. Even when I beg and plead and bribe. Nope.

And I still haven't fixed my iPad so that I can upload photos... Add that on the list of things that aren't going to happen with to wild animals.

But we put up our tree yesterday and today I caught Zachary, my darling little goat/dog, eating an ornament. Like crunching right down on the top of the bulb. Really? I know he's not even two, but what goes through a person's head where they rationalize that eating an ornament might taste good or be beneficial to them in any way? Any why choose a plastic bulb? Was it the shiny blue color? These are silly questions for the boy/dog/goat who likes to rub all his food in the dirt before he eats it.. so in his head, why WOULDN'T an ornament taste good? I should just know by now that no amount of rational thought will be happening with this boy...

Now I'm off to bed since my eyes have been wanting to close since 5pm.

XO

What is Normal?

You know those days where you feel like a bad parent because you look at the clock after a super long day with your chaotic tiny tyrants and realize it's only 5:00 and you still have at least another 2 hours until bath and bed time and you really cannot wait until they go to bed? You do? Oh, well, not me. NEVER. Except that's a lie. It happens on the reg for me and it makes me feel like an awful parent. I find myself questioning why my kids won't just sit at the table and partake in a holiday craft with me? Why can't you both just play with Mr. Potato head so I can put your clothes away in your dressers without having to "nicely remind" (ie. nag) you to be kind to each other and to share. I get it, sharing is not a concept that kids handle well, generally. The whole grass is always greener mentality. I really understand it. I know as a kid I probably went through it. But come.on. We have plenty of toys. More toys than we really need, or even know what to do with. I'm sure we have at least 8 fire trucks and just because your brother has one and you have the other 7 doesn't mean you need that ONE to be happy with your life. He's not going to keep it, I promise. This is my daily life now. So tonight, the boys were playing nicely with each other- which WOAH. Ever since Luke has been going to school, these moments are happening more frequently and it's LOVELY!!! I love when they get along, but you know how it goes, neither wants to nap so now at the end of the night they are SUPER overtired and every little thing that happens is life ending. Zach sat on your head, yes I saw it, I laughed, but now you're saying that he hurt you, but he barely even sat on you... Oh and then he scratched you. Well yeah, ok, I'll take the blame for that because trying to cut his nails is like trying to put a cat in the bath tub - painful and I haven't geared myself up for it. So all they were doing was crying, so Eric, being louder and more stern than me, spoke loudly to the boys telling them to knock it off or they'd go to bed early. They were then told to sit on the couch until they could calm down enough to play nicely with each other again. Giving the boys a common enemy was probably the best idea he's ever come up with - not that he's the first person to do it, but let me tell you, it totally made a difference and we might be using it more often. The boys then fogot about their fued and with common ground of being sad about getting yelled at, they were back to playing. And all that happened in the last 20 minutes of the night. But these apes of mine, they're nuts. Completely nuts. And they never stop talking. I'm not one that likes noise just to have noise. When I get a free minute to myself, I don't even turn the radio on unless I'm cleaning but all these boys in my house need constant noise in their lives... I don't understand it. I need a few minutes here and there just to hear myself think. The little boys just chatter constantly. About random stuff. Because they're kids. And they repeat themselves 1000 times. Playing the quiet game does not exist because they have no concept of what quiet actually is.

So needless to say, today would have been a day for a glass (or bottle) of wine if I drank and to put some ear plugs in and go in a quiet room. But instead I had some pumpkin pie, finished crocheting a winter hat and watched some Street Outlaws, greatful that my two little loves are tucked quietly safely in their beds and prepare myself for another day.

goodnight

Black (and blue) Friday

Black friday started at 4:10am for me. My alarm went off (honestly, the same time as every day but today felt MUCH earlier due to the obscene amount of turkey intake from yesterday) and I headed out with my mom. We has no plan. I knew I wanted to get some things for my "pick." In our house, we pick names among my immediate family- it cuts down on stress and cost- two of the biggest factors to avoid during the holiday season. Anyway, so we decided to brave Walmart. Can I tell you how much of a nightmare I thought it was going to be? I worked retail for a million years before getting the job I'm at now (for the past almost 5 year- woah. Let's talk about how fast that time passed!!!) and I was always the opening person. My favorite Black Friday was when I was a manager at Borders Bookstore. If you don't already know, Borders was the best bookstore on the face of the earth and I miss it almost every single day. I picked up SO many of my craft books from there that it really re-insipred my crafting. OK- where was I? Retail, right. So I had always opened the stores when I worked in retail. There were the occasional years when I was asked to switch to the night shift and I was able to go Black Friday Shopping, but they were rare. When I started this job, I could never head anywhere because others already requested the day off and I had to be in at 7:30. Since I have been going to the gym before work and waking up at 4:10 every day, even though I had to work, it didn't seem like such a big deal to get up this morning. Driving in to the Walmart parking lot I was expecting chaos. Found none. Really, the rush had already passed, but when we got there, they still had the big ticket TV's and all the kids toys so it didn't even seem worth it to camp outside as some people had. We grabbed a bunch of stuff that we probably didn't even need and I obviously picked up some yarn. I mean, really, $1.88 each skein for yarn that goes for $4-5 is a total bargain and I totally needed 15 skeins, right? Actually, after we checked out, I was waiting by the registers and I watched a woman purchase 2 skeins of yarn and actually had a mini-stroke. How do you live with yourself, only buying 2 skeins of yarn? I then proceeded to have an entire mental conversation about how this person at Walmart at 5am wasn't really on top of her game this morning because she was preoccupied with all the toys she needed to get and clearly wasn't thinking when she only picked up TWO skeins because no one only buys TWO skeins of yarn!! She had been up forever and had a mental block. That's my rationalization to myself, why I had to buy 15 skeins, I was making up for her lack of yarn purchase to put the earth's rotation back in alignment and to bring balance to the force. Can you tell the mind wanders at 5am the day after Thanksgiving.

So here I sit. 9:02pm. The kids fell asleep even before their doors were closed and I have basically hidden the bags of yarn under my sewing table because they don't fit in my 36"x84" cabinet specifically made for yarn and I can't even say I feel guilty. I pretty much just speedballed on yarn. Oh, and I totally forgot to mention the 21 skeins of yarn I ordered for 50% off online. Shh... Forget I even mentioned it. What I really need to tell myself is that I need to start crochetting to make all the grand ideas I have planned for this yarn rather than writing this blog... But I've kind of missed writing. Even though this is just ramblings on a page, I feel better when I do it.

Kid story- beware.

When did kids get so smart. My big buddy Luke is too smart for me. I was trying to joke around with him in the car on the way back from shopping with my brother and he was talking about how he was going to run me over with his new front end loader. So I asked if it would smush me, being a big front end loader. And he had this "duh mom" tone in his voice when he answered "it's just a toy, mom." Thanks buddy. Got it. Way to make me feel silly.

More ramblings:
Am I the only one whos kids get more miserable after they nap? Like, is this my life now? Miserable if they nap, and miserable if they don't. A lose/lose situation for the entire neighborhood.... because my little one is like an air raid siren and I'm sure the entire neighborhood can hear him when he's wailing because he doesn't want anything but wants everything and the only thing to snap him out of it is asking him where the moon is, which doesn't calm him down when there are too many clouds and you can't see the moon, and you literally have to drag him outside so he can see for himself. Thank god it was 55 out this evening so it wasn't so bad to let him look outside, but really, what I'm going to do when it's like negative 20 out and he's crying about the moon?!? Yup.

I guess that's enough random thought for tonight.

XO